To love or not to love

I have loved many people, but I have never been in love. Although 99.9% of my friends would tell you that they have been and possibly are currently in love, I feel as though I have not experienced enough to know what being in love means to me. 

I love my mom. I love my friends. I've loved an ex-boyfriend. 

If you asked me two years ago if I were in love, I might have said yes... but I'm not sure it would have been true. The relationship lasted ten months, but he lived three hours away. 

It was hard to be so far from the one person I wanted to spend all my time with. The feelings of love were forced to come too quickly because we had such limited time together. 

I told him I loved him after only one month of being "official." That was true. I did love him, but no matter how badly I wanted to feel in love.. it was never truly there. He is the only boy I have ever spent a Valentine's Day with. 

We went to an art museum and got tattoos together. I have since covered that tattoo up. Not because of him, but because I never really liked it. It did feel like I was letting go of that part of my life as the little skull was covered by a big, colorful moth. People tell me they can't make it out, but I can still see a faint skull under the moth.